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Family & Relationships Alternative Family

Who's Your Daddy?

And Other Writings on Queer Parenting

edited by Rachel Epstein

contributions by Melissa Hart, Emma Donoghue, Syrus Marcus Ware, Shira Spector, Suzanne Pelka, Aviva Rubin, Allison Eady, Lori E. Ross, Scott Andersen, Rebecca Trotzky-Sirr, Maura Ryan, Derek P. Scott, Anika Stafford, Nancy Nicol, LGBT Family Coalition, Lois Fine, Diane Flacks, David Rayside, Becky Idems, Adinne Schwartz, Jamie K. Evans, Karleen Pendleton Jimenez, Cindy Holmes, Anne Fleming, N. Gitanjali Lena, Toby Hill-Meyer, Serena Patterson, Julie Mooney-Somers, Eamon Somers, Makeda Silvera, Elizabeth Ruth, christina starr, Shelley M. Park, Jaime Grant, Joanna Radbord, Allesandra (Alex) Iantaffi, Laurie Bell & Jonathan Feakins

interviewee Chris Veldhoven, Thom Vernon, Anne-Marie MacDonald & Single Moms Group

Three O'Clock Press
Initial publish date
Apr 2009
Alternative Family, Motherhood, Gender Studies
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    Publish Date
    Apr 2009
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This groundbreaking collection of writing brings vital and refreshing insights into current discussions about queer parenting, blending narrative and academic voices from Canada, the United States, England and Australia. The contributors are parents, prospective parents, writers, academics, lawyers, activists, health care professionals and—most significantly—queer spawn, the children of LGBTQ parents. The themes represented in these 40 essays include butches raising sons; queer youth as parents; trans experience in fertility clinics; legal and historical reflections; bisexuality and adoption; race relations in the family; heteronormativity in queer family kids' books; class issues within families; dealing with infertility; polyamory and parenting; discussions with sperm donors, single moms, gay dads; developments in reproductive technologies; rural and urban experience; and reflections on the meanings of biology and of "queer" parenting.

"Whos Your Daddy?" is a timely and dynamic collection that offers offers an honest exploration of the diversity that exists within queer families and a broader understanding of the complex issues that concern both queer parents and their children. These writings make a profound contribution to queer parenting discourse, looking at issues that have been previously unaddressed and introducing new and vibrant perspectives.

"Whos Your Daddy?" not only contains a wealth of information for new parents and those thinking of becoming parents but also provides invaluable information for counsellors, health care workers, social workers and human resource professionals. Website resources and recommended readings are provided and boxed information highlights support groups and organizations.

About the authors

Rachel Epstein has been a queer parenting activist, educator, and researcher for close to twenty years and coordinates the LGBTQ Parenting Network at the Sherbourne Health Centre in Toronto, Ontario. She has published on a wide range of queer parenting issues, including assisted human reproduction, queer spawn in schools, butch pregnancy, and the tensions between queer sexuality, radicalism, and parenting. Rachel is the 2008 winner of the Steinert Ferreiro Award (Community One Foundation), recognizing her leadership and pivotal contributions towards the support, recognition, and inclusion of queer parents and their children in Canada.

Rachel Epstein's profile page

Melissa Hart's profile page

EMMA DONOGHUE was born in Dublin and lived in England for many years before moving to Canada. She writes in many genres, including theatre, radio drama and literary history, but is best known for her fiction, both historical (SlammerkinThe Sealed LetterAstrayFrog Music) and contemporary (Stir-FryHoodLandingTouchy Subjects). Her seventh novel, Room, won the Rogers Writers’ Trust Fiction Prize and the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize (Canada and the Caribbean region) and was shortlisted for the Man Booker and Orange Prizes. It sold more than two million copies. Donoghue scripted the film adaptation, a Canadian-Irish film by Lenny Abrahamson starring Brie Larson, which was nominated for four Academy Awards, including Best Picture. And her most recent novel, The Wonder, was shortlisted for the Scotiabank Giller Prize in 2016.

Emma Donoghue's profile page

Chris Veldhoven's profile page

Thom Vernon's profile page

Syrus Marcus Ware is a Canadian artist, activist and scholar. He is currently a CLA Assistant Professor in the School of the Arts at McMaster University. He has worked since 2014 as faculty and as a designer for The Banff Centre. Ware is a founding member of Black Lives Matter Toronto. For 13 years, he was the coordinator of the Art Gallery of Ontario's youth program. During that time Ware oversaw the creation of the Free After Three program and the expansion of the youth program into a multi pronged offering. He has published four books and in 2020 co-edited (with Rodney Diverlus and Sandy Hudson) Until We Are Free: Reflections on Black Lives Matter in Canada, a collection of reflections on the Black Lives Matter movement in Canada.


Syrus Marcus Ware's profile page

Shira Spector's profile page

Suzanne Pelka's profile page

Anne-Marie MacDonald's profile page

Aviva Rubin's profile page

Allison Eady's profile page

Lori Ross, Ph.D., travaille comme scientifique pour la section de la recherche sur l’égalité sociale et la santé du Service de la recherche sociale, préventive et en politiques de la santé du Centre de toxicomanie et de santé mentale de Toronto, en Ontario. Elle occupe également le poste de chercheuse scientifique au Women’s College Hospital Research Institute et au département de psychiatrie de l’Université de Toronto.

Lori E. Ross' profile page

Scott Andersen's profile page

Rebecca Trotzky-Sirr's profile page

Maura Ryan's profile page

Derek P. Scott's profile page

Anika Stafford's profile page

Nancy Nicol's profile page

Single Moms Group's profile page

LGBT Family Coalition's profile page

Lois Fine has been widely published in anthologies, newspapers, magazines, and journals across various genres. Her article “Outlaw Moms,” first published in NOW Magazine and later in the anthology Who’s Your Daddy?, documents her and others’ successful Ontario charter challenge regarding queer parenting. Lois lives in Toronto.

Lois Fine's profile page

Diane Flacks is a writer/performer. She recently completed her first book: Bear With Me... What They Don’t Tell You about Pregnancy and New Motherhood, published by McClelland and Stewart; and available nationwide. In the fall of 2006, she adapted it for a live solo performance, which toured to London’s Grand Theatre. It has also been invited to Montreal’s Just For Laugh’s Festival. In April/May 2006, her play, Care, written and performed with Richard Greenblatt, ran at the Tarragon Theatre. Diane is writing a new screenplay, The Progressive Dinner, with director Laurie Lynd, and a new play, The Five Stages, with Bev Cooper for Nightwood Theatre.

She is currently developing a new comedy television series called Here It Is, with the Heroic Film Company. She has created and toured three hit solo shows: Myth Me, (which toured nationally and to HBO studios in Los Angeles), By A Thread produced at the Tarragon (which twice toured to La Mama Theatre in New York City, was adapted for CBC television, and was nominated for a Dora Award), and Random Acts, produced by Nightwood Theatre, directed by Alisa Palmer. Random Acts was published in an anthology by Playwrights Canada Press in 2006.
Written and performed with Richard Greenblatt was the critically acclaimed play Sibs, produced twice by the Tarragon to sell-out crowds. It was nominated for the Chalmers Playwrighting award, and published in spring 2002 by Playwright’s Canada Press. Diane and Richard adapted Sibs for a CBC television movie that first aired in the fall of 2003. As an actor she has appeared in films and Canadian episodic TV series, and in numerous roles in Canadian theatres including The Anger in Ernest and Ernestine for Theatre Columbus, The Theory of Relatives (which she co-created) at the Tarragon, and The Serpent Woman for Theatre Smith Gilmour.

Diane Flacks' profile page

David Rayside is a professor in the Department of Political Science and an associate of the Mark S. Bonham Centre for Sexual Diversity Studies at the University of Toronto. He is the author of  Queer Inclusions, Continental Divisions: Public Recognition of Sexual Diversity in Canada and the United States.

David Rayside's profile page

Becky Idems' profile page

Adinne Schwartz's profile page

Jamie K. Evans' profile page

Karleen Pendleton Jimenez is the author of Lambda Literary Awards finalists Are You a Boy or a Girl? and How to Get a Girl Pregnant, Tomboys and Other Gender Heroes, and numerous short stories and essays. She wrote the award-winning animated film Tomboy, and has been recognized by the American Library Association and the Vice Versa Awards for Excellence in the Gay and Lesbian Press. She teaches education, gender, and social justice at Trent University. Raised in Los Angeles, she lives in Toronto with her partner and daughter.

Karleen Pendleton Jimenez's profile page

Cindy Holmes' profile page

ANNE FLEMING is the author of Pool-Hopping and Other Stories (shortlisted for the Ethel Wilson Fiction Prize, the Danuta Gleed Award and the Governor General’s Award), and Anomaly and Gay Dwarves of America. She is a long-time and highly regarded teacher of creative writing who has taught at the University of British Columbia, Emily Carr University of Art and Design, Douglas College, Kwantlen University College and the Banff Centre for the Arts. She lives in Vancouver. The Goat is her first full-length work for young readers.


Anne Fleming's profile page

N. Gitanjali Lena's profile page

Toby Hill-Meyer's profile page

Serena Patterson's profile page

Julie Mooney-Somers' profile page

Eamon Somers' profile page

Makeda Silvera's profile page

Elizabeth Ruth is a writer, editor, creative writing instructor and mother living in Toronto, Canada. Her first novel, Ten Good Seconds of Silence was a finalist for the Writers' Trust of Canada Fiction Prize, the Best First Novel Award and the City of Toronto Book Award. Her critically acclaimed second novel, Smoke, was chosen for the 2007 One Book One Community program. Elizabeth Ruth's third novel - about a female bullfighter - will be published in Canada in fall 2012 by Cormorant Books. 

Elizabeth is well known for her mentorship of aspiring writers. She teaches at the University of Toronto, and through the Humber School for Writers. In 2011 Elizabeth held the position of Writer-In-Residence at the Toronto Public Library. Elizabeth has also held the position of Writer-In-Residence at the Oshawa and Kitchener Public Libraries. In recent years, Elizabeth has mentored middle and high school English students through WIER, Writers in Electronic Residence. In 2011 she delivered workshops and offered manuscript evaluations to writers across northern Ontario. In 2012, together with Ann Douglas, Elizabeth Ruth was hired by The Writer's Union of Canada (TWUC) to deliver professional development workshops to writers across the country. She is a long-standing member of TWUC and the current chair of the author's advisory committee of the Writers' Trust of Canada. 

Elizabeth Ruth has a BA in English Literature and an MA in Counselling Psychology, both from the University of Toronto. She is also a graduate of the Humber School of Writers

Elizabeth Ruth's profile page

christina starr's profile page

Shelley M. Park's profile page

Jaime Grant's profile page

Joanna Radbord's profile page

Allesandra (Alex) Iantaffi's profile page

Laurie Bell's profile page

Jonathan Feakins' profile page

Editorial Reviews

Postmodern indeed. As a single Black lesbian mother, I assumed that a resource like this wouldn't yet exist. On searching, I discovered a literary road map to queer parenting and family that is current, diverse and mini-encyclopedic in its breadth. Reading this work made me feel as though I had added to my family of choice.

Ruth Cameron, The Feminist Review

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