Powerful dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills to move beyond shame and toward a place of peace and healing.

Shame is a devastating emotion, and one that's often difficult to work through. If you are hurting, you should know that you aren’t alone. Shame may be the result of a past trauma, feelings of insecurity, or even guilt. Shame can also spiral out of control, make you feel trapped and hopeless, and lead to more serious mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. So, how can you soothe intense feelings of shame and find lasting peace and emotional balance?

Written by renowned DBT experts, The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Shame offers a step-by-step, evidence-based approach to healing from shame using the core skills of emotion regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness. Using the exercises in this workbook, you’ll learn to cultivate nonjudgmental self-acceptance, and discover strategies for managing difficult emotions—even in situations that trigger feelings of shame, guilt, or self-directed anger.

This workbook will help you:

• Identify the root cause of your shame
• Experience difficult emotions without acting on them
• Move past self-destructive behaviors
• Express yourself honestly and openly
• Build healthy, supportive relationships with others

If you are struggling with shame, you are not alone—and there is help. This step-by-step workbook can help you look beyond these intense feelings and start seeing yourself with more clarity, compassion, and acceptance.

Alexander L. Chapman's profile page

Kim L. Gratz's profile page

Alexander L. Chapman, PhD, RPsych, is professor, director of clinical training, and coordinator of the clinical science area in the psychology department at Simon Fraser University in Canada, as well as a registered psychologist and president of the DBT Centre of Vancouver. Chapman directs the Personality and Emotion Research Lab, where he studies the role of emotion regulation in borderline personality disorder (BPD), self-harm, impulsivity, as well as other related issues. His research has been funded by major grants from the Canadian Institutes of Health Research. Chapman has received the Young Investigator’s Award from the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder (NEABPD), the Canadian Psychological Association’s Scientist Practitioner Early Career Award, and a Career Investigator award from the Michael Smith Foundation for Health Research.
Chapman has coauthored twelve books for consumers and clinicians. Board certified in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) (Canadian Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) (DBT-Linehan Board of Certification), Chapman cofounded a psychology practice focused on DBT, and regularly gives workshops and presentations to clinicians and community groups both nationally and internationally. He also has been practicing martial arts and mindfulness meditation for many years, and enjoys cooking, reading, outdoor activities, and spending time with his family.
Kim L. Gratz, PhD, is a senior clinical quality manager and clinical lead of the DBT program at Lyra Health. She also maintains an appointment in the department of psychology at the University of Toledo, where she previously served as professor and chair. Gratz directs the Personality and Emotion Research Lab, where her laboratory and treatment outcome research focus on the role of emotion dysregulation in BPD, suicidal and nonsuicidal self-injury, and substance use, as well as the intergenerational transmission of BPD-relevant mechanisms. Gratz has received multiple awards for her research on personality disorders and self-injury, including the Young Investigator’s Award from the NEABPD in 2005, the Mid-Career Investigator Award from the North American Society for the Study of Personality Disorders in 2015, and the President’s Award for Excellence in Creative and Scholarly Activity from the University of Toledo in 2022. She was also recognized by the University of Toledo Catharine S. Eberly Center for Women as an Influential Woman (Innovator) for her research on BPD, self-injury, and emotion regulation. She has been continuously funded since 2003 (with continuous federal funding as principal investigator from 2008-2020), and has authored more than 240 peer-reviewed publications and seven books on BPD, self-injury, and DBT.

“These prolific and knowledgeable authors have created a self-help workbook, using DBT skills to target shame, one of the most painful and intractable emotions. Chapman and Gratz use clear language to offer practical applications of the DBT skills, as well as providing ample clinical vignettes and engaging self-assessments and exercises to guide clients toward seeking relief from shame. I love how this book helps readers conceptualize, reduce vulnerability to, and reduce their shame.”
—Jill Rathus, PhD, codirector of Cognitive Behavioral Associates, NY; professor of psychology at LIU; and coauthor of DBT Skills Manual for Adolescents and DBT with Suicidal Adolescents

Jill Rathus, PhD

“Shame is a painful and complex emotional experience for many people, and even more so if it is an emotion that endures. Therapists rarely focus on shame, and while many patients find therapy useful in general, for many patients shame persists even after therapy has ended. DBT experts Chapman and Gratz have delivered a step-by-step approach for addressing shame, one that will help not only those who struggle with the emotion, but one that will also provide useful ideas for therapists unfamiliar with treating the experience. Highly recommended!”
—Blaise Aguirre, MD, founding medical director of 3East DBT Continuum McLean Hospital, and assistant professor in psychiatry in the Harvard Medical School department of psychiatry

Blaise Aguirre, MD

“If you suffer from excessive or unwarranted shame, or are trying to help someone deal with this painful emotion, you will find few resources based on evidence-based principles or practice. In this brilliant, much-needed book, Chapman and Gratz convey in a clear, practical manner how to use skills drawn from DBT—a treatment with strong research support for treating emotional and behavioral disorders—to combat shame’s devastating impact.”
—Clive J. Robins, PhD, ABPP, professor emeritus of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience at Duke University; and trainer and consultant at Behavioral Tech, LLC

Clive J. Robins, PhD, ABPP

“Shame is an emotion that when mishandled can significantly limit our lives and relationships. This thoughtful book offers a comprehensive road map to understanding shame and addressing its often invisible but powerful hold over us. The authors translate the robust set of skills in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into practical, accessible tools that can change our relationship with shame in a step-by-step fashion. Best read actively from beginning to end, it provides a clear and hopeful pathway for anyone seeking to understand and liberate themselves from the burdens of this difficult emotion. Highly recommended.”
—Steven C. Hayes, PhD, originator of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and author of A Liberated Mind

Steven C. Hayes, PhD

“The emotion of shame can be debilitating for so many people. This book gives us invaluable information, with detailed and realistic examples and worksheets for taming shame using DBT skills. Loving ourselves and realizing that we all have a place in this universe, what a beautiful gift this book is, an essential read for those who struggle with shame and for all those who love them.”
—Lynn Courey, CSW, founder and president of The Sashbear Foundation, helping families with skills and hope

Lynn Courey, CSW

“This book provides a long-awaited, contemporary examination of shame—offering clear explanations, practical guidance, and effective recovery strategies. It’s an invaluable resource for anyone who is struggling with problematic shame, providing hope and empowerment for a healthier, more fulfilled life.”
—Shelley McMain, PhD, senior scientist and head of the Borderline Personality Disorder Clinic at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, and associate professor in the department of psychiatry at the University of Toronto

Shelley McMain, PhD

“In this essential workbook, Chapman and Gratz provide step-by-step guidance on managing the painful emotion of shame. This easy-to-read text provides a compassionate framework for understanding shame, and practical tips for preventing, reducing, and effectively coping with it when it arises. This includes skills for reducing vulnerability, managing painful sensations, dealing with negative thoughts, changing unhelpful action urges, managing interpersonal consequences, and increasing self-acceptance—accompanied by clinical vignettes and practice exercises. For anyone struggling with shame—this manual is indispensable.”
—Thomas R. Lynch, PhD, emeritus professor in the school of psychology at the University of Southampton, UK; and author of Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy

Thomas R. Lynch, PhD