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Family & Relationships Dating

Taking Sexy Back

How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want

by (author) Alexandra H. Solomon

foreword by Lori Brotto

New Harbinger Publications
Initial publish date
Feb 2020
  • Paperback / softback

    Publish Date
    Feb 2020
    List Price

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Taking Sexy Back is going directly on my top list of recommended sexuality readings.”
—Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs
It is time for a new sexual revolution. It’s time to take sexy back.

As women, we’re expected to be sexy, but not sexual. We’re bombarded with conflicting, shame-inducing, and disempowering messages about sex, instead of being encouraged to connect with our true sexual selves. Sexy gets reduced to a performance, leaving us with little to no space to reckon with the complexities of sexuality. In a culture intent on telling you who and how to be, standing in your truth is revolutionary.
From relationship expert Alexandra Solomon—author of Loving BravelyTaking Sexy Back is a groundbreaking guide to deepening your connection to yourself, honoring your desires, and cultivating authentic intimate connections. On these pages, you’ll discover how to deepen your sexual self-awareness, and use that awareness to create experiences that not only pleasure, but elevate, expand, and heal you. You’ll learn to understand your boundaries, communicate what feels good, and bring mindfulness and self-compassion to sex. Most importantly, you’ll embrace your sexuality as an evolving, essential, and beautiful part of your life.
Sex is about more than what your partner enjoys or finds sexy. It’s about more than having an orgasm or finding the “right” positions. It’s about you. It’s time to take your sexy back!
Named one of Cosmopolitan's Best Nonfiction Books of 2020!
2020 Consumer Book Honorable Mention from The Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR)
As featured on The Morning Show—Australia's top-rated morning program

About the authors

Alexandra H. Solomon's profile page

Lori A. Brotto, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, sex researcher, and Canada Research Chair in Women’s Sexual Health. She is a member of various sexuality organizations and an associate editor for Archives of Sexual Behavior. Brotto writes a monthly column called Health Advisor for the Globe and Mail and has been featured in the New York Times, the Walrus, Chatelaine, Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, and many other outlets. She lives in Vancouver, BC.

Lori Brotto's profile page

Editorial Reviews

“Have you ever wished you knew someone that combined the intimacy of your best friend with the skills and competency of a PhD in psychology? Someone who could support you on the road to creating a wildly fulfilling sex life—both with yourself and your partner(s)? This book will change your life, open doors, and allow you to own every drop of the hot, sexy woman you were born to become.”
Regena Thomashauer (aka Mama Gena), founder and CEO of The School of Womanly Arts at, and New York Times bestselling author of Pussy

Taking Sexy Back is going directly on my top list of recommended sexuality readings. Not only did I learn a lot, but I also enjoyed the ease, directness, and warmth with which Solomon guides us to deeper sexual and relational self-awareness. An invitation we can’t refuse!”
Esther Perel, couples therapist, TED speaker, host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin?, and author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs

“In Alexandra Solomon’s book, Taking Sexy Back, she asks us to dig deep, to look beyond our assumptions, to shift from being sexualized to being sexual, and to find our erotic selves under years of cultural repression. This book helps women to reclaim their inherent right to their sexuality, which we all need as we move into the next wave of empowering ourselves, fighting for our right to feel pleasure in our own bodies—without guilt, shame, or remorse. I will pass Solomon’s wise advice on to my own daughter.”
Tammy Nelson, PhD, certified sex and relationship therapist, and author of Getting the Sex You Want and The New Monogamy

Taking Sexy Back welcomes women into an adventurous reclamation of our sexuality as just that—ours! And ours alone.”
Linda Kay Klein, author of PURE, and founder of Break Free Together

“Chock-full of poignant real-life stories, scientific data presented in an accessible format, and questions to provoke deeper thinking, Taking Sexy Back is what every woman needs to set her on the path to sexual empowerment and fulfillment. It is the only book of its kind written in a wonderfully inclusive way, encompassing the experiences of those who identify as straight, lesbian, bisexual, cisgender, gender-queer, monogamous, nonmonogamous, and more. Solomon’s passion and compassion for women’s sexual discovery shines through. I will be recommending this book to students, clients, and friends for years to come.”
Laurie Mintz, PhD, professor in the department of psychology at the University of Florida, and author of A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex and Becoming Cliterate

“Psychologist Alexandra Solomon (Loving Bravely) empowers and enlightens in this manual that encourages women to accept and control their sexuality.... Like a wise older sister or a trusted friend, Solomon illustrates how to move from fear to love.... She also tackles the topic of sexual traumas and the poison they inject into relationships, and encourages experimentation and sexual fantasies as tools to learn one’s own sexuality.... Solomon proves to be a savvy, empathetic voice in this educational and inspiring guide.”
Publishers Weekly

“With grace, savvy, and compassion, Solomon dismantles the web of erroneous messages that stand in the way of sexual fulfillment for countless women. Taking Sexy Back is a powerful, much-needed guide to reclaiming your sexuality and blossoming into your fullest, most pleasure-capable self.”
August McLaughlin, media personality, podcast host/producer, and author of Girl Boner

“In these enlightening and powerful pages, Alexandra Solomon provides a clear path to thinking about our sexuality in the context of our psyches, our relationships, and our pleasure. There are countless books on relationships and countless books on sexuality, but never have I seen a book that asks us to examine our sexual lives in such a holistic, empowering, and eye-opening way. This is a rare and life-changing gift for women everywhere.”
Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

“When the next sexual revolution comes, this book will certainly be among its founding documents. It takes the best parts of what psychology has learned about love and sex, and distills them to their simplest human essence. Love and sex, as the author notes, are a powerful and ancient magic, and this book will do much to help the next generation of women claim more of this magic for themselves.”
Stephen Snyder, MD, host of the Relationship Doctor podcast on Macmillan Publishers’ QDT Network, and author of Love Worth Making

Other titles by Lori Brotto