Everything doesn't (always) happen for a reason.
Infertility and pregnancy loss can be devastating, yet both are often private sorrows for the one in six people who cope with the experience. This collection offers personal stories about what it's like to go through the emotional and physical facets of infertility, miscarriage, and pregnancy loss: the pain, sadness, and desperation, the hope, humour, and frustration.
Through, Not Around offers reassurance to those in the midst of their own struggles that they are not alone and that it is possible to find acceptance and strength on the other side of grief. The way forward is by going through the grief, not around it.
Allison McDonald Ace, Ariel Ng Bourbonnais, and Caroline Starr are co-founders of The 16 Percent, a website dedicated to sharing stories of pregnancy loss and infertility. To read or share your story, visit the16percent.ca.
Allison McDonald Ace is a writer and communications manager for GoJava.ca, as well as the community board member on the Maternal Mental Health Committee at Sunnybrook Hospital. After experiencing a late-term miscarriage with her second pregnancy, she became an advocate for sharing stories of child loss to help others know they aren’t alone. Allison lives with her son and husband in Toronto.
Caroline Starr is a writer, editor, and community advocate. After being diagnosed at twenty-one with PCOS and later suffering a miscarriage, Caroline became committed to building a community surrounding infertility and miscarriage and openly discussing their impact on families. She lives with her son and partner in Toronto.
Ariel Ng Bourbonnais was diagnosed with premature ovarian aging at the age of thirty-three. She found strength and resolve in knowing that sharing her experience helps others. She works for the University of Toronto and is in the process of completing a memoir based on her personal experience with infertility through U of T's Creative Writing program. She is a proud Torontonian, wife, and (dog) mom.
Miscarriage and infertility are such common experiences for women, yet they're also some of the most lonely, as so many grieve in silence. Through, Not Around is breaking the silence and bringing these stories into the mainstream. This collection is heartbreaking, beautiful and important.
…a collection that opens eyes and hearts.
To say this powerful book of essays is a fascinating read would be an understatement. This invaluable book shows the challenges of fertility. Beautifully written, these essays are full of love and hope. It’s like getting on the phone with the best experts and your best friend at the same time. Highly recommended.