Monica Parker bridges the divide between serial dieter's survival guide and memoir, taking readers on a hilariously funny yet bumpy ride from chubby baby to chunky adult.
In Getting Waisted, Monica begins every chapter with a diet she committed to and reveals how much weight, money, and self-esteem she lost, then she tells how much weight she gained when she fell off the wagon. After all, "no one tells a short person to get taller, or a tall person to get shorter, but fat people hear about their bodies all the time." From Living Large in a size zero world to jumping into the dating pool without causing a tidal wave of angst, Monica learns that when you stop buying what the diet-devils are selling and start liking yourself, life is far more rewarding. When Mr. Right appears out of thin air, will she run back to the catalogue of Mr. Wrongs out of fear? Readers will laugh and cry as she realizes that while she thought it was her body that was in the way, it was really what she kept in her head that needed adjusting.
Ultimately, Getting Waisted is an inspirational look at life through society's warped fun-house mirror, but Monica's reflection tells the real tale: everyone is always under construction and we are all flawed, chipped, and dented, but that doesn't mean we're not interesting, vital, and sexy.
"Ever known a female worried about losing her virginity, bathing suits, and finding Prince Charming while battling body issues? Ever known a female who hasn't?
"Meet Monica Parker, the brilliant, witty, and perceptive woman who has gifted us with a hysterically funny, painfully honest, and outrageous true-life memoir of her life lived well and large. Getting Waisted leads us on Monica's raucously hilarious journey, from Scotland, to Toronto, and then to Beverly Hills—a fat girl growing into a fat woman, hungry for love and life while struggling with scores of diets tried and failed.
"But because Monica is a gifted writer, right up there in the Pantheon with Nora Ephron and Carrie Fisher, there's more than laughter here. This is ultimately a story, populated by a parade of incredible characters, about breaking free from societal stereotypes to embracing who you are, and living life on your own terms. Parker has done that with enormous charm, wit and humor, emerging as a happy and successful actress, writer, producer, and inspirational speaker living an extraordinary life—and with her Prince Charming at her side.
"She beat the odds, and after reading this wonderful book, I think I can too!"
—Arlene Sarner, award-winning screenwriter/playwright/producer
"Monica Parker's work is outstanding. What she writes about mirrors the experience of many, and her capture of it is clever, poignant, and leaves her readers feeling like we belong. I've listened to the reaction of her audiences—it's as if she's been inside their heads. She says it as others have experienced it: all the silly, hurtful, and consuming monkey-talk we put ourselves through by not accepting who we are. Monica evokes a full spectrum of emotion: 'Did she really say that?' 'Aren't we suppose to keep that to ourselves?' 'I thought I was the only one who felt different/lesser/odd…' Thank you, Monica, for exposing our nutty ways through your humor and naked honesty. It inspires me, and others, to become more and more of who we really are meant to be. "
—Christie Andrus, M.A., president, The Human Factor
"Funny, frank, and refreshingly honest, Getting Waisted is Monica Parker's audacious memoir about her lifelong love/hate relationship with her body. But this book isn't really about being fat; it's about being human, and every woman who has ever used food to sate an emotional emptiness, or longed for self-acceptance, should read it."
—Jillian Medoff, bestselling author of I Couldn't Love You More and Hunger Point
"Getting Waisted is funny as hell, and the good news is, it's not just for big girls. It's a welcome tonic for anyone who has ever looked in the mirror and felt insecure . . . hello skinny, flat-chested girls with cat-eye glasses! Her adventures through self-doubt and into the sunshine of self-love are full of sass and panache. She's a cheerleader of the 'don't let 'em get you down' school of survival, and the BFF we all want on the other end of the line. So let's have a piece of chocolate, reapply that red lipstick, and get out there and give 'em hell, girls! Life's a cake and Monica wants more. I'll have what she's having!"
—Wendy Crewson, award-winning actress
"Monica Parker brings a human—and funny—face to the body politic that dictates that happiness and acceptance derive only from a slim physique. She courageously mines her life experience, in and out of the public eye, not only exposing her vulnerabilities but also revealing her resilience and hard-won self-acceptance. Monica's story inspires and her message is truly off the scale."
—David J. Pilon, Ph.D., 2012 president, Eating Disorders Association of Canada-Association des Troubles Alimentaire du Canada
"My dear friend Monica Parker, the hilarious humorist, Mother Hen to me, Gilda Radner, Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara, John Candy—all of us when we started out in Toronto—has written a book about truly finding yourself, being content with who you are, and developing an enduring sense of self-esteem."
—Dan Aykroyd comedian, actor, and original cast member of Saturday Night Live
"I love Monica's humor, her honesty, and—better—her truth. That love letter to her unexpected boyfriend is something every woman will want to live. I love her compassionate, funny, sharp, beautiful, and romantic voice. It'll make sooo many women feel they are not alone."
—Katie Ford, writer/producer of the box-office smash, Miss Congeniality, and the renowned TV series, Desperate Housewives
"Thank God Monica Parker has turned her revelatory one-woman show into a hilarious memoir. At times both gobsmacking and inspiring, it's a story for any human who has struggled with 'fitting in' and gaining ever elusive self-acceptance and love."
—Sarah Rafferty, actress, 'Donna Paulson' on USA Network's hit drama Suits
"Play the hand you've been dealt. Heard it before? It's never rung so true as from this very funny, brutally honest voice. In Getting Waisted, Monica Parker shares 'the 101 humiliations it cost her to create the evolved woman' she's become. She finds a comedic take on most of those mortifying events, and chalks up the rest to the fire needed for the forge. Few of us escape the curse of comparison, especially with the media bombarding us with impossible standards of beauty and lifestyle, but Ms. Parker, in true Rabelaisian spirit, inspires us to get on with it, to accept and forgive. What an amusing kick in the ass!"
—Kerrie Keane, artistic director, White Buffalo Theatre Company