What even is “sexy,” and how do you do it? A tough question for trans and nonbinary queers struggling to find their sexual selves in a landscape rife with misogynistic, transphobic and homophobic ideals and expectations. In How Do I Sexy? Mx. Nillin Lore provides affirming and helpful direction based on over a decade of their own personal and professional experience as an educator, advocate, support worker and award-winning sex blogger.

You’re invited to do some deep introspection, find a look that feels right and gain insight on sexiness from fellow trans and nonbinary queers. You’ll also find valuable tips on navigating dating sites, finding community, managing rejection with grace and engaging in sexual relationships. Principled and compassionate, Mx. Nillin Lore will help you figure out who you want to be, who you want to be with and how to make it happen—both in the streets and between the sheets.

Mx. Nillin Lore (they/them) is an AuDHD, trans and queer activist, advocate, and educator based in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. They have had queer erotica stories published in a number of anthologies including Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year volumes 4–6 and The Big Book of Orgasms Volume 2 (Cleis Press). They co-authored a chapter of Trans Bodies, Trans Selves (Oxford University Press) and are the editor of Heckin' Lewd: Trans and Nonbinary Erotica.

Nillin Lore's profile page

Sophie Labelle is an internationally renowned visual artist and author from the South shore of Montreal. She is the transgender cartoonist behind Assigned Male, a webcomic about a group of queer and trans teenagers that has been running since 2014 and has touched millions of readers. She lives in Finland.

Sophie Labelle's profile page

“How Do I Sexy? isn’t just a good book, it’s a vital and sorely needed one. LGBTQ+ young people are still rarely represented in mainstream sex education. Many of us make it to adulthood with very little knowledge of our bodies, our sexualities, and how to engage intimately with others. This book is like a warm, comforting hug that says ‘hey, you’re lovable – and sexy – exactly as you are!’ It’s both a celebration and an invitation. No matter where you are in your queer, trans or non-binary journey, there will be something in here for you.”

</i>Coffee & Kink<i>

How Do I Sexy? is a fantastic read and a book that’s worth keeping on the shelf for reference or revisiting.

</i>Bending the Bookshelf<i>