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Henrik Nordmark is a bald, middle-aged security guard with few friends and no romantic possibilities. Tired of being the weed sprouting out of the wallflower, generic in his generality, Henrik has an epiphany. He will have one moment of inimitable distinction, even if it kills him.

Henrik first sets out to experience the throes of addiction, then to become virtuous, and barring this to be known as a public menace. Inevitably he resolves to find true love and fails miserably. Along his journey, Henrik inadvertently becomes the target of a team of elderly assassins — one blind, one deaf, and the other mute.

Henrik’s counterpart is Roland, a young office worker who, thinking he’s won the lottery, dumps his girlfriend and casts aside his friends. He addresses an email to the company where he works: “Dear Heartless Bastards …” Soon Roland’s entire world — the fictional one he’d built up in his mind — comes crashing down to painful reality.

Henrik’s and Roland’s lives intertwine with that of a young couple, the aptly named Bonnie and Clyde, two formerly star-crossed lovers who have grown to loathe each other. Bonnie and Clyde now have homicidal intent in their hearts, but do they have the cleverness or proficiency to pull off their respective crimes?

The characters’ lives all come together in a crescendo in which Henrik realizes his true purpose on earth.

Christopher Meades is the author of three previous novels, including The Last Hiccup, which won the 2013 Canadian Authors Association Award for Fiction. In addition, Meades's work has appeared in several literary journals including The Potomac Review and The Fiddlehead. He lives in British Columbia, Canada, with his family.

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“Witty and entertaining . . . the book is full of laugh-out-loud moments. Henrik is ridiculous in his simplicity (suggesting that ‘their two person department have a Secret Santa program’), and his multiple phobias keep his adventure interesting.” — Publishers Weekly

“A slapstick comedy of errors that moves at a breakneck pace.” — Quill & Quire

“Well-written, totally hilarious yet also poignant, and brilliantly planned . . . Henrik is ironically an unforgettable character, whose internal thought processes, like those of young Roland, are innocent and often illogical (in Henrik’s case, if he didn’t speak with a rather impressive level of intelligence one might think him slightly retarded) but also inevitably hilarious.” — Bella’s Bookshelves