Exploring nonmonogamy can require us to shift our worldview and deconstruct what we’ve been taught about relationship dynamics. However, it is difficult to defy paradigms while also existing within them—even as we strive to unlearn established norms, we can find ourselves unintentionally reproducing the principles of paradigms like mononormativity in our nonmonogamous relationships. In a society where monogamy is established as normal and reinforced through legal systems and cultural etiquette, this is not surprising.

By examining prevalent cultural norms and values, and presenting real-life examples of mononormativity’s impact, Marla Schreiber encourages readers to consider their own preconceptions and guides them towards effectively defying mononormativity and other intersecting paradigms.

Marla Schreiber (MSW, RSW) is a White, Queer, gender-defiant, neurodivergent therapist and educator who has been practicing polyamory since 2005. In their anti-oppressive, trauma-informed therapy work, Marla specializes in nonmonogamous relationships and 2SLGBTQIA+ identities. After designing and facilitating workshops, and consulting in academic and professional settings since 2009, they founded PolyaMarla as a way to offer nonmonogamy education through courses, training, speaking engagements and social media content creation.

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