Family & Relationships Love & Romance
Love for a Deaf Rebel
Schizophrenia on Bowen Island
- Publisher
- Provenance Press
- Initial publish date
- Mar 2021
- Category
- Love & Romance, People with Disabilities
-
eBook
- ISBN
- 9789811805752
- Publish Date
- Mar 2021
- List Price
- $0
-
Downloadable audio file
- ISBN
- 9789811836336
- Publish Date
- Feb 2022
- List Price
- $0
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Where to buy it
Description
Love for a Deaf Rebel introduces readers to a vivacious Canadian woman who was born into a silent world and with the foundation for schizophrenia. With pathos and nostalgia, the author recounts his roller-coaster ride with Pearl, a vivacious deaf maverick, who, unknown to him, had paranoid schizophrenia. We follow their encounters through actual notes written before Derrick learns sign language; we go on their motorcycle ride to Mexico and Guatemala; we watch as the happy couple moves to Bowen Island, a British Columbia community with just three paved roads. Pearl and the author marry and build their dream home and hobby farm. They encounter one obstacle after another while building their life together as Pearl’s perception of reality—and, crucially, their perception of each other—begins to change. The author learns what it means to be deaf, what it means to struggle with mental health, and what it means to love such a woman unconditionally—the ecstasy and the agony. There are other books about discovering schizophrenia in the family, such as Hidden Valley Road, and about deaf woman-hearing man relationships, such as Children of a Lesser God, but none that tells the true story of a woman who struggled with both.
About the author
Contributor Notes
Derrick King was born in Newfoundland in 1954, a fifth-generation Canadian with a pioneer’s gene for adventure. He earned his BASc(EE) from the University of British Columbia in 1977 and his MBA from Simon Fraser University in 1988. He left Canada because of the events described in this book and never returned there to live. He lived in the Netherlands, Japan, Australia, India, and Singapore while raising a family. He studied at INSEAD in Fontainebleau and the Center for Creative Leadership in Greensboro and was seconded to the World Bank in Poland several times. He retired to philanthropy after thirty-three years with the same bank. He lives in Southeast Asia with his wife, where he motorcycles, scuba dives, and watches the palm trees sway.
Excerpt: Love for a Deaf Rebel: Schizophrenia on Bowen Island (by (author) Derrick King)
I walked into a roar of conversation, bought sushi, and shuffled through the lunchtime chaos of the Pacific Centre Food Court, looking for a seat. Umbrellas and overcoats dripped water onto the white tile floor. A black-haired woman sat under the clock, her back to the wall, scanning the crowd with radar eyes. Her porcelain face, brown eyes, and high cheekbones gave her face a long-distance presence, yet her elegance was neutralized by a brown dress and a perm. Her drab style contrasted with the gaudy colors and big hair of the 1980s. She wore no makeup or jewelry. Her radar locked on to me as I looked for a seat. The seat opposite her became vacant. I elbowed my way through the crowd and sat down. I was wearing a blue suit with a white shirt and a silk tie; like most bankers, I only removed my jacket on the hottest of summer days. I loosened my tie. I ate while she studied me with the barest hint of a smile. I smiled at her and looked away. She looked at me while she ate fish and chips and sucked down the last of a Coke with a gurgle. “What are you staring at?” I finally said. She pointed to her mouth and then to her right ear. “Are you deaf?” I said, at first puzzled and then surprised. She nodded. I took the gold Cross pen from my suit pocket, picked up a napkin, and wrote, “Spicy horseradish.” I turned my napkin to face her. She read it and smiled at me as if she expected me to write more. “I wondered why you looked at me. I never met a deaf person before.” “I watch lips. If you speak and I ignore you will think I am rude. I don’t want hearing to think that deafies like me are rude.” “Can you lipread?” I said. The woman shook her head. “Most people never look at each other. They only look at the floor. That’s why I spoke to you.” She smiled. “We are 200,000 deafies in Canada. Our language is ASL—American Sign Language.” “I’m getting an ice cream. Do you want one?” The woman scribbled on the tattered napkin and pushed it across the table. “Almond.” She smacked her lips, grinned, and put the napkin in her purse. I bought two ice cream cones at Baskin-Robbins and stuffed a handful of napkins into my pocket. The music of Madonna played in the background. We sat on a bench in the mall and continued to write. I noticed her fingernails were badly chewed. “Congenitally deaf?” The woman shrugged. “Born deaf?” “Mother had measles at 4 months pregnant. Lucky not 2 months or I am blind and deaf.” I smiled. “That’s life.” “That’s me. I accept my deafness. My children will be hearing.” She looked at her watch. “I go back to work. Nice to meet you.” The woman stuffed the napkin into her purse and disappeared into the crowd as I watched her walk away.
Editorial Reviews
King’s powerful memoir is about the difficulty of dealing with a loved one’s mental illness and disability, and how falling in love with a deaf woman changed his life. His love for Pearl is well conveyed in concise, accessible terms that capture the challenges of falling in love with a person who sees the world in a different way. The coverage of the sexual, physical, and psychological abuse that she experienced is sobering. King’s narration strives to authentically capture his feelings in the moment. RATING: 4 OUT OF 5.—Clarion Reviews Foreword https://www.forewordreviews.com/reviews/love-for-a-deaf-rebel/
The bond that grows between strangers living in two worlds is compellingly described, bringing revelations about prejudice, acceptance, handicaps, and equality. Deafness and schizophrenia are seen through intense love and personal growth that brings a “you are here” feel in a way few memoirs achieve. The role of friends and family is examined as King stands by her while her mental health collapses. Anyone interested in mental illness or in the interactions between deaf and hearing lovers will find the book infused with a passion that makes it a riveting adventure through life and psyche that proves hard to put down.—Midwest Book Review Bookwatch http://donovansliteraryservices.com/june-2021-issue.html#lft
This candid account of the author’s marriage to a deaf person vividly details their motorcycle adventure to Guatemala and life on Bowen Island. This poignant love story is well written and becomes a platform for facts about the life of deaf people, also delving into issues such as schizophrenia, blindness, and diabetes. Those interested in the stress that disabilities can place on relationships may wish to read this. Rating: RECOMMENDED.—The US Review of Books https:// www.theusreview.com/reviews-1/Love-for-a-Deaf-Rebel-by-Derrick-King.html
King’s love story and memoir opens when he is approached by Pearl, a charismatic deaf woman. Their chat, scribbled on napkins, flows easily, and friendship blossoms. He learns sign language. They move together to isolated Bowen Island, sharing a life of livestock and ferry rides, where her behavior becomes increasingly erratic. King tells this honest and emotional story in crisp, quick prose, with insights and slight suspense, respecting Pearl’s story right up to its bittersweet finish.—Publisher’s Weekly Booklife https://booklife.com/project/love-for-a-deaf-rebel-schizophrenia-on-bowen-island-55735
