When Catherine Lang's niece and Calgary Herald reporter Michelle Lang was killed while embedded with Canadian troops near Kandahar City, Afghanistan, in 2009, her world shifted.

In the aftermath, Lang and her family experienced the rigour of military ceremony. As she pieced together fragments from Michelle’s last days, Lang connected with the loved ones of soldiers who died alongside Michelle. She met with those injured by the roadside bomb, including the lone civilian woman talking to Michelle at the time of the blast, discovering in her and others a steely resilience to carry on and a more intimate understanding of the meaning of sacrifice. Suddenly thrust close to this aspect of Canadian society, Lang began to question previously held black-and-white views about military engagement, and she turned to writing as a way to understand the impact on her and her family, and to ensure that Michelle lived on in memory.

Wrestling with the unfathomable consequence of war, she travels across Canada to learn about Michelle through the eyes of her colleagues and friends. This process brings Lang to Saskatchewan, where she had lived as a child—a homecoming that reveals much to Catherine about Michelle, and about herself. Brought together by a shared love of journalism, a career she left behind, and dedication to press freedom and to the rights of Afghan women and girls, Lang is led back to writing through her search for Michelle, and back to Michelle through the language of love and loss.

Catherine Lang is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in numerous publications including Saturday Night, This Country Canada, and the Vancouver Sun. She lives in Victoria.

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“In this heartfelt narrative, a glimpse into the life of a remarkable journalist is shown through the eyes of her loved ones. This moving exploration of Michelle's legacy is a powerful testament to love, loss, the enduring spirit of women living in challenging environments, and a touching tribute to a life dedicated to justice and truth. A must-read for those after a story of courage and perseverance that will stay with you long after you put the book down.”

—Murwarid Ziayee, Senior Manager, Right to Learn Afghanistan

(formerly Canadian Women for Women in Afghanistan)

“In seeking to learn more about her journalist niece whose senseless killing in Afghanistan—along with four members of the Canadian military—made front-page headlines, Catherine Lang discovers much about herself in her compelling meditation on the nature of human loss and journalism.

Lang’s memoir bravely captures the waves of anguish and devastation that spread outward from the core of unfathomable personal tragedy. Ripples they may become but which never quite settle.”

—Colin N. Perkel, former journalist

“A stunningly ferocious yet gentle work: measured, thoughtful, it may well change the way we perceive ourselves in relation to Canada’s role in Afghanistan, told through the precise and elegiac voice of Catherine Lang. Here we have both the journalist and the grieving Aunt of the late Michelle Lang, at thirty-four, taken too soon by violence. This book is a game-changer and essential reading for these times, for those invested in history, in processing grief, and the nexus of the political with the personal. Catherine Lang’s book adds a beautiful depth to the literature of public/private mourning.”

—Renée Sarojini Saklikar, author of Children of Air India