Selected Excerpts: “Let me begin right now by telling you about the village of Little Figgy-on-the-Duff located in southern France. It is a distinct proud, somewhat homogeneous community, of Newfoundlanders and Labradorians, whose ancestors originally fled their homeland because of a fear that Vikings would make them wear traditional Norse clothing and take over the dry salt cod industry…”

“It all started one early morning, during the twelve days of Christmas while celebrating the centuries-old Christmas tradition of the Mummers Festival before the bells of the village church, the Gates of Heaven Help Us, rang out for the annual commemoration service of St. Fiacre, the patron saint for hemorrhoid sufferers…”

“Those present that eventful morning, amongst others, included Mayor Sadie Parsons and her husband Jack Parsons, and three of their four children, Jaxon, Jakson, and Jennifer; Chief Constable Gabriel White and his dog Goobies; publican William Brown and his lovely over-ripe daughter Olivia; our Father John Murphy; Junia, the widow Murphy, who is the church carillonneur and member of the Passalorynchite Christian sect, who years ago, much to the relief and wishes of her neighbours, had taken a vow of perpetual silence; Enosh White-Walsh, the village lawyer; and Dr Piddy Adfat and her husband Baba Younus...”

"As to the doctor, Piddy Adfat, and Baba Younus, her husband? Out of deference, one never spoke about where they came from, other than to say the doctor was known amusingly by the villagers as Wad-a-Piddy! She had a habit of always shaking her head and raising her shoulders on hearing about an unfortunate event, while whispering to herself, “Wad-a-Piddy!.." "Baba Younus to the villagers was commonly known as ‘a pain in the ass’, which admirably fitted his profession. Baba Younus was a proctologist by career, but he no longer practiced his occupation, preferring to just be his wife’s medical assistant and receptionist…”