"I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool."
It's been said that golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. Par for the Course celebrates the wit and wisdom -- and also the woes -- of playing and loving the game of golf. As Ben Crenshaw explained, "Golf is the hardest game in the world. There is no way you can ever get it. Just when you think you do, the game jumps up and puts you in your place." But there's beauty in it when it all comes together. "What other people may find in poetry or art museums," Arnold Palmer said, "I find in the flight of a good drive."
With quotes from today's top stars, insight from the legends of the game and advice from a host of celebrity duffers, the many fans of all ages will find plenty of laugh-out-loud lines to take their minds off tee shots that go out of bounds, missed putts and double bogeys.
A small sampling of the more than 400 quotes:
- if some players took a fork to their mouths the way they take the club back, they'd starve to death. (Sam Snead)
- There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me combined. (Jack Nicklaus on a young Tiger Woods)
- Real pressure in golf is playing for $10 when you've only got $5 in your pocket. (Lee Trevino)
- He must be amphibious. (British golfer Mark James, after Sergio Garcia threw a ball into the gallery with his left hand.)
- Golf is a good walk spoiled. (Mark Twain)
Readers are sure to laugh, groan and nod knowingly as they turn the pages of this lively collection.close this panel
Eric Zweig has written for the Toronto Star, the Globe and Mail and the Toronto Sun. He is the editor of Home Plate Don't Move: Baseball's Best Quotes and Quips; and Gentlemen, This is a Football: Football's Best Quotes and Quips.close this panel
This collection of golf humour will have you laughing and cringing at the same time.